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 April 1 - 30, 2007

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Previous passing thoughts of a Pageminder

Poof! It's gone…
04.30.07 - 10:09 am (CT)
I've been going over and over it in my mind… but it's incomprehensible how it can be justified… taking almost a lifetime… three kids… a grandchild… and by fiat saying… it did not exist.

The priest said his decision was for "Lack of Due Discretion" that the ex had problems that I didn't know about, but should have, so I shouldn't have married him in the first place! Is that nerve or what? Forget Pre-Cana, the priests' and the church's blessing, and the support we received from our families and friends on our marriage 30 years ago, the Joliet Diocese Matrimonial Tribunal says they were all wrong…

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Slave labor, brood mares, and the Catholic Church
04.28.07 - 4:10 pm (CT)
With the help of his family, his friends, and the Catholic Church, my ex-husband has managed to wrangle an annulment (from the Catholic Church) of our 30-year marriage. I don't know what it cost him in money — there are those that say you buy annulments from the Catholic Church — but I do know what it cost him otherwise… his very soul. He had been making bargains with the Devil for a couple of decades, what with the out and out debauchery, sleaze, and abuse that permeated his life… well, that cost him his marriage, but this, this was the final nail in the coffin of his soul.

Hard as it might be to believe, I had been holding back an awful lot of information about the last 20 years, but now the gloves are off… I am fighting this all the way to Rome. I have already requested that the Roman Rota in Rome be the final arbiter of what and what is not valid as far as my marriage went. I hope to have the Pope himself decide whether the last almost 40 years of my life are to be reduced to one of just sharing space and physical urges… to one of servitude and being just a brood mare.

Quite honestly, that is basically what the ex-husband had already thought of me for the last almost 20 years of our marriage… and treated me accordingly. He took great pleasure in putting me down for any and all reasons, he took great pleasure in using me for his own purposes and pleasure, similar to a slave owner… when he became this way, or why, is up for debate… one that I will have with myself… in a book or five.

I do know that he was not always this way, that at one time he could think beyond himself, so as for when the narcissism took hold him… well, I'll save that for the book, the book that is destined to be a bestseller and maybe even a Movie of the Week.
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Nerves of the human variety
04.16.07 - 1:22 pm (CT)
I would love to say that I have nerves of steel, but I don't, so I won't say that, even though there are those who think that I do… they can think what they want. I've been told by a number of regular people and professionals who are supposed to know these kinds of things, that I am a very strong woman, which may or may not be true, although I'd like to think it was. The professionals have indicated that had I not been a strong woman I would not have come out of my abusive marriage a whole person… gee, I'd like to think that I'm a whole person, so maybe they're right.

However, their, or anyone else's opinions for that matter, are neither here nor there, because what I think of me is what really counts and I think I'm an a-okay person who, as far as humans go, has a decent set of nerves, at least for the really big, important stuff. I pick my battles and mostly just blow off the little skirmishes that really don't amount to much in the big picture of my life. I wasn't always of that view — I don't think I really came to it before I had a grand mal seizure in 1989, where I was bouncing myself off the floor due to stress that was caused by psychological abuse.

"…criteria for how to pick my battles… was whatever worth bouncing myself off the floor… again."
It was at that point in my life, at the tender age of 36, that I developed my criteria for how to pick my battles… was whatever worth bouncing myself off the floor… again. Since then, I could probably count on both hands (with a finger or three leftover) the number of battles that I have chosen to fight, most of which involved my kids, but there were also the huge battles of trying to save my marriage and then deciding to end it. As I think back to the battles, I would have to say that maybe the professionals were right… I'm one gutsy lady, but with nerves of the human variety.
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Gambling on a lake home
04.12.07 - 6:06 pm (CT)
I'm not a gambler, but I'm gambling on the present owners' of that lake home I made an offer on to not get another offer anytime soon that was as good as the one I gave them. My final offer was more than they paid for it and was just about what the realtor and I figured it was worth, but they said they NEEDED more — ah well, I have no need to fund their needs.

Maybe they should have thought more about their funding needs before they built a brand new home elsewhere on the lake, maybe they should have shaved some off the new home instead of trying to shave it off me… oh well. I left it that if they don't find someone to pay their price, to give me a call, after all, nothing is worth more than someone else is willing to pay for it and, as time goes on, I am willing to pay less rather than more.
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Card Tricks… the devil is in the details
04.11.07 - 1:05 pm (CT)
Pick a card, any card…

Card Trick... pick a card, any card.

And the next thing you know, the card you picked is gone!

Card Trick... your card is not there.

Now, you're thinking, "Wow, is she good or what?"

Well, the "or what" part is what you should be thinking about, because no matter what card you had picked, it would not be there… NONE OF THEM ARE! Just take a closer look, a much closer look, and you'll see the trick of this illusion where the cards are similar, but definitely not the same.

Card Trick... pick a card, any card.
Card Trick... your card is not there.

Yes, as with so many of life's illusions, the devil is definitely in the details.

Note: As some of you already know, neither this "card trick" nor the images are originals of mine, as they were both taken from a recent email. However, I thought to pass on a passing thought about it to the masses.
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Once upon a time
04.09.07 - 11:25 am (CT)
Once upon a time in a land far faraway lived a beautiful princess who married a handsome prince and they became the King and Queen of their little kingdom. Soon thereafter they had three handsome little princes who would one-day takeover their kingdom… and all was right with their world. As life went on, they would have lived happily ever after, but for the King who was overcome with darkness.

"The King in all of his glory came to love the darkness — he came to love it more than the Queen…"
The King in all of his glory came to love the darkness — he came to love it more than the Queen, the three princes, and even the royal pets, so much so that he was willing to risk everything and everyone he ruled over. He was overcome with greed, lust, and debauchery for all sorts of things that were not his to covet, which when the Queen realized the extent that her beloved King had gone to the dark side, begged the King to come back into the light, but that was not to be.

His Royal Highnass had descended so far into the darkness that he could no longer even see the light — he could only see what little of him there was left to see in the dark place he called his life. He could only see his own hand in front of his own face, and with that hand he proceeded to rule with a tight iron fist, so that the Queen could see only one way to save what was left of their kingdom, she found a way to banish him, took over the kingdom, and she and all those in the land lived happily ever after.

THE END… or maybe it's just the beginning of a whole new tale.
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Linking to whatever suits me
04.07.07 - 9:30 pm (CT)
Here at MindBlog, I am the first, last, and only, so I only have myself to ask for an opinion on matters of import, or not so import, and I like it that way. The hard part is when I play my own devil's advocate — giving myself both sides of an issue — not that I mind debating with myself, well, because, let's face it, I always win… the debate anyway.

And so it goes with the multitude of major decisions around here that need to be made, like what to write about and how much to say about what I'm writing about. Then comes the all important decision of whether to link to other sites on the Web that have something to do with whatever interests me at the moment. On the Web, relevant links are important, with them your page rank with the search engines goes up and without them your page rank goes nowhere, so I have to decide whether or not I'd like to boost a site's ranking… sometimes I do and sometimes I don't.

In the past I've explained MindBlog's Linking Policy and, at the time, even though I didn't go to the trouble to do it, I threatened to make a separate page for it. However, since the original policy posting four years ago, I have found the need on several occasions to make mention of the policy and since I once again find the need, rather than pointing you to it, I'll just give it to you:

MindBlog Linking Policy
"The only way to get on the MB Links page is as a result of a blog about your site, product, and/or service. And we only write about sites that are of personal or professional interest, or we find particularly amusing, and products or services that we personally have used." MindBlog 02.01.03
So, there you go, there you have it, there you are… it's pretty simple, there's no small print, no legal mumbo jumbo, just three somewhat short sentences… short and sweet, just like me!

HINT: Since I only write about things that interest me for one reason or another, it would follow that I might want to give my readers links to other sites on the Web that have something to do with what interests me. So, if you would like to get me to link to your site, don't just send me a request for a link exchange, give me a reason to want to share your site with others, give me a reason to want to up your page rank with the search engines, give me a reason to want to blog about you, your products, or your services, because otherwise you'll never make it to MB Links.
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Things that matter most
04.01.07 - 6:08 pm (CT)
When I was growing up we didn't have a whole lot of material things, although, come to think of it, if you took all eight of us and added all of our stuff together, it probably would have made a rather large pile. However, it would have been a pile of relatively inexpensive stuff that was much more than likely to be not new stuff, but stuff that was new to us. I remember getting very excited when we would go visit my cousin Susie, because not only was she a neat cousin, but also she gave us some of the coolest hand-me-downs.

As for where our stuff went when we were done with it, I'm not sure whom it got handed down to… maybe to my Uncle Gene's family, because they had younger kids. I do know that our old furniture and household items usually made it up to our cottage, which was at the very lake where I'm trying to buy a home. As a matter of fact, there are some things that I still have that were kept for a number of years at our cabin… my little rocking chair and my parents' (almost) complete set of pink "Mayfair Open Rose" Depression glass.

I remember one Christmas where we were very low on money, so it was a "make, do, or give" type gift exchange, where we either made something from what we already had, did something, or gave something of our own as a gift. My sister Peg made me a flowered muumuu dress from fabric samples that we had and I, noticing that her little black lamb was in very bad shape, gave her my rather new one. A couple of years later — or it may have been the very next year — she gave me my lamb back as a gift either for Christmas or maybe my birthday.

When my kids were growing up they would make me all sorts of things: Right now in my kitchen is a nosegay of flowers made with notebook paper, colored with markers, and held together with a decorated paper plate. I have I don't know how many Christmas ornaments that the kids made for me that I always place in special places of honor on the tree. There is a little red heart pin that I wear on special occasions… Gee, I even have two bowls made from mud from the backyard of our very first house. They were all gifts of love that are more precious to me than anything they could have bought for me… they were gifts of the heart!

"…in life, the things that matter most are gifts from the heart…"
As I go through my life, my most pleasant memories are not of big things like expensive gifts or vacations, but of the little things like hand-me-downs, a colorful muumuu, giving and getting back my black lamb, and homemade flowers and whatnots. When it comes to things that matter most in my life, well, the big things are insignificant when compared to the little things from the heart — yes, in life, the things that matter most are gifts from the heart, they create the most precious memories.
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