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Previous passing thoughts of a Pageminder

The month is gone and so is the Bear
04.30.08 - 9:49 pm (CT)
It's been a very busy month… first with getting certified (YES!), then getting together my tax info so I could file on time, and finally working a second job that made for a couple of six-day weeks. And right in the middle of all of that I had a sad yet happy day when on the 13th, on the opening and closing of the front door, the Bear was gone, which was sad — as for the happy part, it was that the Bear was gone. Let me explain…

I have very happily spent over half of my life as a Mom, it was not only what I wanted to be, it was also what I was meant to be and, even though monetarily, I made nothing, it was the best full-time job I ever had. I was paid with love and the satisfaction of a job well done, which is where the happy part of the Bear moving out comes in.

It's not that I was happy to have my Bear Bill gone, but as I had explained it to him when, in his first year of college, he was concerned that I was sad he had "left home". I told him that if I looked at it that way, I would be sad, however I chose to look at is as having done a most excellent job as a Mom, his Mom, and that made me happy and very well satisfied, as a job well done is apt to do.

Sometime in the mid-90's, this Mom waxed somewhat poetically of my three sons — Rob, Jon, and Bill:
The sun shines,
After the clouds a rainbow,
And the bear is mine.
— Jeane Wade, circa 1995
Yes, Rob is my sunshine, Jon is the rainbow in my life, and Bill, no matter where he lives, will always be my Bear.
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Working hard to get certified
04.07.08 - 11:12 pm (CT)
I'm taking a short break from the studying and testing it takes to get certified for my dog and cat job… it's coming down to the wire, as this Sunday is the deadline to finish it all up. If I don't finish in time, then, well, I guess I'm finished with the job, but then maybe I am anyway. However, I've never been one to tacitly accept failure, as, in most cases, it's just not acceptable for someone of my capabilities… as my mother used to say, "You're not working up to your potential". Or as I have said to my own kids on numerous occasions, "I expect more of you, because you are capable of more", and that I am, I am capable of more, so I do more.

With all of that said, I'll say, "Goodnight", as my days start at 4:00 am… yes, I have a two-alarm clock that blasts me out of bed at that ungodly hour, so I can hit the road by 5:00 am. These days, I don't actually have to be there until 7:30 am, but with all of this certified stuff I have to do, there is some of it that I can't do at home, I have to do it on an office computer. Not that I'm complaining, but the computers at work are very, very slow and the monitors are small with the resolution set too low to fit much on the screen, which really drags all of this out… it would be so much easier to do it all at home… okay, so I am complaining, but just a little and besides, I'm done now.
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It's 2:47 am, do you know where…
04.01.08 - 2:47 am (CT)
It's 2:47 am… do you know where your pillow is? I know where mine is, it's right where I left it two hours ago, on my bed without my head on it, and right now, it probably has a dog or cat on it. I was asleep, but woke up for some reason or another, and was too awake to go back to sleep, which is why Iím fiddling here at the computer. Usually when this happens, I watch TV or clean to tire myself out, but didnít feel like doing either this time, and it seems to have worked, because I'm finally starting to feel like I could catch a few more winks, so good night.
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